Things That Make Me Grr

if i read one more thing exclaiming on how "huge" some pregnant celebrity is.

if every woman in those rags gave birth whenever they remarked how "she's about to blow!" there would be a lot of sickly premature babies being born.

the post where i wish i was more like my sister.

see my sister. knows how to tell people to back the fuck off.

i do not. im all like, not wanting to hurt people's feelings and crap. which seriously. who cares about certain people's feeling when they are MAKING YOUR LIKE SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THEN IT NEEDS TO BE!

its a long and complicated and irritating story. but mainly. we are looking for our own place. and everyone is making it so much for difficult then it needs to be by getting in our face with their 'assvice'

so to make it all better i just go and look at the pictures of my good friends new baby! who is adorable and named lilly. :D that is a cute name.

so yay for new babies that make life all better.

i should also..

get some sort of music player thing. to add a song to a post. so that you can hear an interesting song i've found or whatever. cuz, i mean doods. i LISTEN TO AWESOME MUSIC.


mainly cuz, i grew up with a batrillion (IS SO A WORD) musicians. and i just am that awesome.

but, even though i do read. do not ask me about books. you wanna ask Chris Cactus. he has a shitload of cds and books. books that he hasnt even read yet. he's that cool.

im not linking him though cuz i dunno if im allowed. plus, i only talk to him about scooby doo popsicles. not books.

but he is the authority on books. and music.


i've lately kinda been on a prog rock kick. which would make me 'dah' tear.

speaking of which. i totally have him wearing black eyeliner now :P

ow ow ow ow..OW

so. by now i guess you're assuming that i hurt myself.

which, would be a correct assumption.
*side note* have you ever heard that phrase. don't assume, cuz all that does is make an ass of you and me. ?

moving on

remember back when i threw out my lower back a few months ago? well i did it AGAIN. not nearly as bad though, but still very painful. and doing something very stupid.
though, last time was not as stupid. since it was while i was trying to get a good shot. so i guess i could pass it off as suffering for my art. or some such b.s.
but this time?

ha. making our BED.

our TINY TINY twin size bed.

which, i dont get either. whats twin about it? anyways. its like practically a fricken kids bed. in fact. i think it IS ONE.

god, i'll be so glad when we get our own place and have my glorious, awesome pillowtop bed back.

moving on though

so . the bed needed to be fixed. cuz i was being all ocd and pmsy and THE BED IS NOT MADE RIGHT! AHH! and much bleeing of ears and eyes. so. i fixed it. and now. i cant LAY IN IT.

i will somehow turn this around and make it all taylors fault. or the cats. or something.

i say the word so, alot. i've realized.
and, i havent slept in a long time cuz of the whole pain in my back from being a crazy woman.
and!! the amazing painkillers that even have codein in them arent working (over here in canadia. we can buy over the counter pain killers with CODEIN in them) perhaps if i crushed them up and snorted them??

speaking of which. anyone here about the new thing with snorting VODKA?!

no?

well, apparently. pete doherty and amy winehouse are into it. (insert sad sigh)

so, rounding this all up. im in pain, ow. ow ow ow. but i'll live. and am in a fairly opptimistic (?) (so i dont spell that word often) mood.



ok, now i say bye. and happy memorial day to all ya'll americans.

oh and like, don't like, forget. the lohans reality show premiers tonight! !!!!!! !


and! the second indiana jones movie. (temple of doom) TOTALLY SUCKS! i wanted to do violent things to the chick in that movie.

DOOODS

walmart. my friend. just got some GORGEOUS bathroom stuff. as in all the stuff for our new bathroom minus a shower organizer for all the shampoo an crap. cuz i forgot.

and i was wondering

1. why do guys get the best eyelashes?

2. why does vodka make my stomach burn?! it hurts!


oh and my hair is awesome today


AND i got a pair of jeans that make my ass look great.

and !! and!!!
the pms has not gone out of control this month!

thats a big phew.

two things

ok two things, as i just stated so whatever


1. so, ok. im really lame FINE but i've been watching grey's anatomy and its like therapy or something for me. i cant not bawl my eyes out while watching an episode. (see! i do have the crazy!!)

2. WHAT PERSON TELLS YOU ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION! ALL THE REASONS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS!? and now this 'person' (ya its in quotes cuz im not sure this 'person' is one) finds out about my spine and neck and shoulder troubles and they're all like ' SEE you really shoulndt ever have kids. it'd kill you'

WHAT THE EFF?! what normal person says these things to someone?!



oh, and we're still looking for our own place. we had a set back last night. we had an appointment to see one and stood around outside of the building for an hour until a tenant came out and called the landlady for us and the person who scheduled the appointment didnt actually tell the landlady. motherfucker. we had a lot of stuff to do that got screwed up by that.

toronto sucks. i want to live in nova scotia by the sea.

in whereas, i explain things

soooo

updates updates, where to begin.


the mister and i (taylor would be his name, which i've mentioned but anyways)
have been married now for over two months. which honestly have been. VERY stressful. mostly.

mainly because of our living situation. as in it sucks. and its sucked since we've been here. which has been for about 11months. ya.

its been a big test of our relationship.

how well we can communicate with eachother and problem solve. which actually is, pretty damn well.

considering i've been a pretty huge emotional wreck for the past three years, which has only been heightened by being on the pill.
and tay has a mild form of aspergers which is on the autism spectrum. he's been tested and on some things he's at genius level and some other things are a bit more of a challenge.

but, he's working on them. its pretty cool to see actually. like one month he'll have a problem with making breakfast. for instance. i'll ask him to put some bread in the toaster. and, for whatever reason. he can't. like, its a mental block. he just cant. but then. he'll start pushing himself too try. and now, he's the person who makes breakfast. he takes care of the tea and the toast and everything. no more problem.

the awesome thing is once he wraps his head around how to do something then its fixed. no more problem. he can do it. the other thing. is how much patience he has. he will keep working at something till its perfect. for hours and hours and over and over he'll do it until its right. which is actually part of the whole aspergers thing. i mean, there are problems. he'll get hyper focused on something and have a really hard time stopping but honestly. its not that bad. really, its not bad at all.

and then there's me. crazy cristy. ha. i've had some readers say that they want to know things about me. and, i just don't know what to say. ask me about anyone or anything else. and i could write a book. but when it comes to me? i don't know.

there isnt that many things that i find that fun to do. i've always focused on everyone else. and how to make other people happy. being with tay has been stretching in the sense that. now i have the time to think. what do i want to do? he gets so frustrated with me, asking me. what do you want to do!? and i don't know. i really don't. its scary you know, not knowing. before i spent all my time being anxious or worried about other things. but now, ya know. im not going to end up alone. he isnt going to leave. nothing bad is going to happen. i dont really have any more excuses.

i struggled with anxiety and depression since i was ten. i can remember feeling so hopeless and depressed when i was ten and we were living on a reservation. but i've never had anxiety in the sense of being terrified of things, or people. im not afraid of people in the sense that, "OH! they are going to hurt me!" its been a problem. and now, being on the pill. oh my god. i get the 'crazy' every month. my doctor is four hours away so its kinda an ordeal to go see him to switch or figure something else out. but now that we're moving and getting our own place we'll be in windsor anyways to get furniture and stuff. plus im covered under taylors benefits, so another huge stress i dont have to worry about anymore.

i feel like i've just been rambling. but i needed to type out something. to sum it all up. things are finally looking up and im not sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop or bottom out or whatever.

which, speaking of shoes. i really need some. i have literlly. two pairs of converse. dr. martens. and new balance runing shoes. and a pair of flip flops. i am so lame.

but hey. i did spend most of my income tax at Sephora. so, maybe that balanced out the girl universe a little.


goodnight bloggers, diarists, and lurkers.



ps. its so lame that mace is illegal here. i mean. seriously. whats a girl supposed to carry around with her? numchucks?

the pink stuff

and by that i mean pepto bismal. which i am chugging.



have been so violently sick since 5 this morning. had so many plans of things to do for this day.

HA

puking has stopped finally though

but i think mister has 3:10 to Yuma to watch with me.


so bye.
i hope you all are healthier than me.