cry with meeeeee

can i just start by saying, i am a very sensitive person.
pain that i can not fix makes me very emotional and upset. whether it be my own, or someone else's.

our two kittens got fixed. you all know that, i mentioned it before.
i knew this was gonna suck, but man. does this SUCK.

phiren is pretty ok. he's just a little more careful and i gotta keep him from licking his area.
but clementine?
oh. my. lord. she's just so tiny. and doesn't understand why it HURTS.



and this? this is making me wanna cry. she just tried to go to the bathroom. and it was an unnatural sound of pain that i had never heard before. she was so freaked out from it and got poop on herself and fell in the litter box and then was trying to get out but she was in pain so she couldn't properly and, oh god this sucks.

so, i tried not to cry. cleaned her up with tay's help and snuggled her in her wool blanket.
i know its just a cat. but she's just so little. have i mentioned how bad i feel? GUILT


moving on to happier things. two old best friends of mine and new friends of taylor (!) are coming up to visit us for the WHOLE weekend!!! they'll get here friday and stay till sunday.

im really excited. i mean we live in TORONTO, where there are a million things to do. and now we'll have people to do it WITH! the A.G.O. is re-opening this weekend and it's FREEEEEEE to get in. which is awesome. cuz it's slightly pricey for us young, broke folk, so we don't go.

i shall take pictures and video documenting our weekend of adventures.
oh, i wanted to mention.

i take pictures. BUT. the pictures i take. aren't actually the type i'm interested in taking. hence. not much enthusiasm from me. i love PEOPLE. i want to take pictures of PEOPLE. but, people i know. don't want their picture taken. (poop)
it's seriously frustrating for me at times. so, im also excited about that this weekend. jordan and angelica are people who will let me take pictures of THEM!!! (spazz's out from the pending excitement)

i also take pictures of bands. which, i am farely o.k. at.
i grew up in a town and in a family and friends of musicians and artists. unfortanetly. when i got my camera. i was moving around. i wasn't with musicians anymore. i've only had the chance to photograph one band. and that was ages ago. i really miss that too.

speaking of bands. the duke spirit makes me swoon. they're british (bonus points!)
and the singer, the way she paces herself as she sings, reminds me a lot of morrisey from the smiths (also british, but you all totally know that. i mean, who doesn't know morrisey or the smiths? seriously. tell me who? i must give them some dafodils.they were definitly if not the creators of the whole 'emo' rock whatever. i would also just like to say. shut the fuck up 13 yr old angst emo kids. gawed.)

im also in the process of trying to 're' procur my old cello. but, i think i may have to buy it back. which, although sucks, i do get why i would. we're broke at the mo' though. so unless my folks take care of it.. which, my dad just wants to get me a new one. but im not too sure about that. cuz, new student cello's run at, at least 5k. which is kinda major. (kinda!!)
i really miss playing.

anyways, thats about it. now you all know whats been churning round' my mind.

OH, yesterday was 11 11 which was our 8 month mark of the whole 'married' life bit.
yanno whats weird? so many young people are getting married. i know of THREE other couple who just got married and they're all my age or only a year or two older. i think its kinda odd. i mean. the gen before us. the mid thirties group. all waited for forever to get married, if they have at all. and now all of a sudden a TON of people in their young 20s are getting hitched.

i've just been scratching my head at that for a bit.
cheers, folks.

So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra..

didja hear? i bleached and cut my hair.

i know, crazy cristy does it again with all that ..crazy
stuff.

but pictures!

these were taken by the web cam so i always look odd.
the first two would be my attempts to look normal and "hey! im being completely unassuming here and reading stuffs!"

the last is me totally giving in to the weird uncomfortable-ness that is taking a web cam picture of oneself.
so now when you picture me in your heads it is an up-to-date one. :D

this is me being all "hmmmm, interesting things.."

i thought it was only fare for you to see how my mouth is usually positioned while i am reading juicy information

i blinked a lot after this one.


now. i would also like you all to know that one of the best things of having a boy around. (like fricken 24/7) is you can wear his shirts! and he can be all "hey stop stretching out my shirts with your boobs!" and then i can be all like "heh, i bet your shirts wouldn't have thought five years ago that my boobs would be wearing them! and they should be greatful!!"

the end.

OH MAH GAH!!

my eyes are bleeding.

i just got THIS



minus ugly at&t symbol

and its kick ass. not that the chick holding the TWO phones cares at all about them..

but dudes it has TWO TWO!!! cameras. like oh. MA. GA!

but anyways. moving on to boring apartment stuff.
so the windows in our new apt that we are moving into on WEDNESDAY! that's like. in not even two days. the windows. they are mutherfrackin HUGE

as in 58 inches by 86! HUGE ! we could not find and blinds for them. so we have to go to this specific place to be able to cut our size. they are going to be bamboo slats. or something fake organic looking.


did i mention that i am listening to glorious music on this awesome two camera phone? well i am. it is awesome. violet by hole has never sounded so cliched.
AND!! ! when you turn the phone on camera or video mode. it rotates the picture. all cool and apple phone like. I'm not even gonna tell you how cheap the guy gave it to me for.

and the screen is a MIRROR. so like. HELLO FACE! :D

I'm also very tired. we are loading all our stuff from three different locations here Wednesday morning early then driving the four hours to Toronto then unloading it all. then we gotta get our other stuff from our previous place there.

i am already dead.
i also have really bad heartburn.

and its actually in the heart lower esophagus area too.

i really have to go to bed though dudes.

i hope you're all awesome :D
i cannot wait to take easy videos to show you all our new place.

there will definitly be a TOUR

update

im tired. and sad.

im probably sad because im tired. see, this is why i should sleep when im tired. i go crazy.

plus, i've eaten more meat in the weeks we've been here at my folks than in probably a year. its making my stomach.

i found a day all my old journals this week. seven, in fact. none of them completely filled up.

i've been thinking about doing a new blog on a different site maybe of just video posts. sometimes i think it'd be easier for me that way. but then i think the opposite. i havent decided yet.

oh, and a heads up. once we move i'll be without the net for a month or so. things will be tight for us for a little bit so no internets.

i hope everyone in the blog world is well. sorry if i've been dropping the ball on commenting you all.

Three things

First. just caught a glimpse of myself, and..im either channeling some crazy olsen twin death look or .. i really am just dead.

sexy.

Second. the sock? doing better. sloooooow going though. but yes. its all a.o.k. for now.

and Third. this bug bite i have on my inner thigh? sooo painful. even worse today than yesterday. it literally feels like someone jabbed a pointy something and mashed it all around inside the tissue. its KILLING ME. but odly enough. the bite itself looks fine.


my life. is rediculous.

the end.

oh and to anyone's blog i read and commented today. your things were so much more meaningful and awesome then i could properly convey. im really sorry about how awful i am at writing comments. like really. i suck.


k, the end for reals now.

so so so...i suck at blog title-ing..

the knitting, is just.

not coming a lot very well. i've been working on this sock like for DAYS and am still confused. i took out the toe four times! and it took three hours to get to the right part and then have to take it out again, cuz it'd still look like crap. so basically .12 hours wasted. so i did a different toe then they did because 'they' are CRAZY AND EVIL
so now. my sister and i are both confused on how to proceed next


anyways. i finished the hat that i was crocheting. FOREVER ago. it probably took me like four hours maybe. and i was taking my time. it looks pretty swell i think. i mean, i'd SHOW YOU but my camera is not with me at present. *shakes fist at sky*


so...hm hm hm

OH!

i had this idea for this gift package for people who suffer from depression! *ya, exclamation point!*

lets say that you're at home and depressed, and just all blah and sad and ya know. death and stuff. and then ...

OH! MAIL! HAS ARRIVED! WHAT COULD IT BEEEEE?!?!

and its this!





CONSTRUCTION PAPERZ



GLITTER!



Glitter GLUE!




SCISSORS!




PIXIE STICKS



SPARKLERZ!



and...GLOW STICKS!!!


And! Dis Funnyeze Pictorz!


see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics




so whatcha think? good idea?!

PSST

im gonna let you all in on a little secret as too why relationships sometimes don't work/last for the long haul


A. when person isn't that interested in you to begin with, so why would said person try to keep something, that doesnt really exist in their mind, keep on going when LOOK!! that GIRL!! wOw O.O (or guy, im not sexist)

B. or people in the relationship have flaws (WHAT?! FLAWS?! NOT ME!!) and won't admit to it. or, won't try to work on growing, and becoming a better person and couple together.

C. OR are just emotionally incapable of being an equation instead of just a solitary number so far in their life journey (that is me being nice and non judgemental of stupid dick head people who are JIRKS >.< )(or else people who really are lovely, but have to work on just being, and being healthy before sharing their life with someone else)

which brings me to..

i'm not a particularly "romantic" person. in which i mean. Relationships take hard work. people who go from person to person thinking, "well, they weren't the one. we just kept fighting and fighting and it stopped being fun" FRUSTRATE me. ya, ok. maybe they weren't the "one" or maybe you need to realize that things don't stay warm and fuzzy like you're childhood stuffed animals for forever. it comes in waves. you have to store up your love and memories together so that when things get hard and shitty and raw, you have a reservoir to draw from. that is the key that i have learned in my life so far.
the other?
i'm just so appreciative i'm with someone that admits their faults and then works on fixing it.
it is really hard sometimes folks, and i feel more than just a little hypocritical at times. but, love is a strong and powerful thing. it's also faceted, and layered (and im totally not gonna bring in the onion thing)

why i'm talking about this? i have no idea.
to anyone who reads this and thinks. this was for me. great! if not, and you all think im a crazylady (i get told that about ten times a day) let me know too i suppose.


anyways, night all!
make some time to do something special this week. for instance. turn out the light and light some sparklers and dance around to some fun tunes. make some MEMORIES folks!!

cheers!

hello hello

so, not really anything going on. hence no real posting for the past few days. my left hip and knee have been really painful the last couple days so that's really put a kink in the fun plans for the weekend.

therefore, instead of cool fun adventures, its a video game marathon weekend. i've finished all my knitting projects. refreshed myself with all things crochet, but, since i've no yarn to actually start anything im just stuck here. and yes, i do have those new three books i bought. for some reason though, i just really don't want to start any of them yet.

ummmm

so yep nothing cool goin on here. except the mr. ordered chinese for dinner :D

i hope you all have a much more adventurous go at life this weekend than me




cheers!

that is all

i fell and bashed my knee *the one i fell and bashed last week* on the ice today.

it hurt like a mother.

thank you for asking.

oohh mother nature, how you mock me..*bitch*

yaaaaa so yesterday i was all like. wow its so gorgeous out, its like SPRING

"hah! HAH!" said the sky.
and then it spit in my face.


we had to go out today, "get our banking stuff taken care of" taylor says.

"fine, i say. "but it doesn't look too nice out."

"i checked the weather network. it'll be fine" says taylor.

HAH! HA HA HA!

you know in cartoons there'll be the guy with the rain cloud over his head. well that was us but BIG FREAKING SNOW FLAKES! 2 to 6 INCHES they are now saying. oh thank you. now that im BACK INSIDE we are warned.

and what did i, the brilliant cristy wear in this wonderful weather? my rainbow poncho. ya. im goin places people.

AND omg i have pictures that i took on my bloody phone. and of course they keep "failing to send" to stupid Rogers MyPix online album ! GRRRRR


but and a wonderful surprise of glee and giggling

my awesome sister signed me up for The Plucky Knitters Plucky Classic Knitalong sock club. AND GUESS WHAT THE THEME IS?! JANE AUSTEN!

http://thepluckyknitter.com/index.php/archives/803

WOOOO. my face is gonna 'splode

that is all friends,
that. is. all.

*before something crappy happens again.

OHEMGEEE

i just got added to a BLOGROLL!!!

by this awesomely cooool person. http://www.gooseberried.com/starboard/2008/03/all-about-good.html

i considered using CUEL. but i figured that'd just make ME sound like a loser.

oh for some reason adding linked links..things don't work for me here on blogger. they don't show up so i have to do the good ole' copy, paste thing.

and yes. i did get married. and it is pretty grande. the week of being married as in two weeks ago nearly was HELL. as in . oh.dear.god. when will the TORMENT ENDDDDD

but that was mainly the extreme stress of being an hour late to our own fricken wedding ceremony since stupid cristy decided to have a meltdown before going, then on subway realize. OH i forgot all the paperwork and MONEY for the efficieary lady *named catherine cook, and oh.dear.god. did i want to call her captain hook* so tays dad had to jump off and go back for it OH AND! the subway wants to strike since they only make nearly 27 bucks an hour so they have been, to show their protest, going veeeeery slow and stopping way longer than normal at stops. *shakes angry fist at sky*
Damn the NDP! DAMN THEM!!

so we made it. the building the subway stopped at.. BTW, was the WRONG ONE. apparently everyone but us in the whole wonderful bubble that is toronto knows this. so long story short. sweating to death we make it to the right building..only to wait for another 20 minutes for tays dad to get there with the paperwork..and money.


godalmighty, i owe him one.

so moving one. the next day we take the train to windsor and the whole week ensues in stressful "oh!, we have to plan and do the favours for this simple party that is now like a wedding reception thing? and there's now going to be a wedding cake we have to decide how we want it decorated, on the spot?? oh realy!!?" ugh, im not even going there. it ended well. and that is all that matters. the rest is blacked from my memory (c.i.a. style) from here to eternity.


but back to this blogroll thing..

OMG! i feel so much pressure to actually think before i type now. and i have to go out and take more pictures. which reminds me. where the hell IS my camera?!
*goes and frantically searches for said camera*
ohhh ho ho goody folks. i left it in windsor..

so now i wont be able to get it till the end of april. wonderful.

but i really must say, the weather since we've been back is AWESOME. its like SPRING but not wet and still has a nice coolish breeze.
man, if i could live in a climate that never goes much above 60 i'd be in heaven. plus no pollution. that would be like gigglig delirium for me.

but again. pulling it back into the blogroll thing that sweet awesome Gooseberried a.k.a. Michelle put me on.

laaahhh, do i feel special. and so, so, guilty that i now don't even have my camera..but..i DO have a camera PHONE. so perhaps i shall enlist it into my service.

perhaps.


and so, i leave you with a *crappy* picture of my sweet sweet red [moon]boots, that i am in mourning for, since i shall not be wearing them for some time. unless a blizzard hits us between now and next week. (itcouldhappenthisIScanada)

but now, let us all say a weepy goodbye to the red boots.
"i shall miss the toasty warmth you gave to my feet on our walks. sometimes to the point that i'd almost have to take you doods off because of OH MY GOD! my feet wont stop SWEATING! and being reminded by my dearest, that "you cant take of your boots, this is TORONTO is DIRTY HERE!" to which i would reply, shaking my fist at anyone who would here me, "Damn you crack whores!"

the end.

yuck

i hate being sick.

i feel like such a burden.

and the worst thing is im always sick or else in a lot of pain most of the time.


somehow i've got to fix this..

to a T

"When I'm not doing something that comes deeply from me, I get bored. When I get bored I get distracted, and when I get distracted, I become depressed. It's a natural resistance, and it insures your integrity."

- Maria Irene Fornes


that up there is definitly accurate to myself.
yep.
definitly.

i've always had a hard time with About Me's. for me to just start off saying things about myself is a huge challenge. when i think,
"hmm, what to say about myself?" it's just a big blank.
Now, ask me a question and i'll be quick to answer it. im good with questions. a question sets me in a direct chain of thought

the thing that drew me to the world of 'blogs' was all these different people telling about their lives. which, is just so Awesome to me. people fascinate me to no end. humanity is so massive and complex. i'm definitly a grey area girl. you cannot define a person by this or that. everything is complicated and intricate right down to the core.

*****

i wish i did a better job of telling about my own life. i've been in such a transitionary stage these past months that i'm not exactly sure what is my life at the moment. aside that its great 98% of the time, and usually pretty dern exciting. unless we're snowed in.. (im getting pretty good at WWII first person shooters)

things are so different now than they were 12 months ago. i love being here and being able to just jump on the subway and streetcars to get from place to place on our own. not having to depend on other people to give you a ride is so great. we can just get up and go. poof!
less now since its been so cold here, unbelievably so. i mean to walk a few miles in the wind is just, a really stupid idea.


but spring is around the corner! and my potted daffodils are really blooming great. i've got two flowers and four others starting to open.

my goal this spring is to have a bit of an inside garden going. grow my own garlic, aloe, some other herbs and salad things. i've got a fairly big window space and while it is a basement apartment we arent really underground so my window is huge and lights up the whole room during the day.
i really thrive on natural light. i cant stand lighting in places like wal-mart. after a while i feel ill if i'm there for too long. its just so ugly to my eyes.

and now it's obscenely late it, sucks getting your days messed up.

i've been knitting lots of things which tomorrow if my back is able i shall attempt to photgragh and post on possibly here but definitly my flickr. i've been toying with the idea of attempting so sell things i knit or some photography. i'm not sure yet. if anyones interest let me know..

goodnight !

oh and if anyone who ever graces this page of mine, and thinks of some interesting thing to ask me. ask! i'd love to tell you most likely.
(and of course withing the area's of appropriateness)